Hernia Central

All the dudes in this building are worker types. Worker bees, that lift things, drive trucks, fix shit, mow lawns, take out the trash.  Every dude IN this building has had a hernia operation or needs one.  This is when your intestines push through the wall of muscle.

Dave the manager’s son,  Dave the trucker across the hall, and Fred all have or need operations.  Sheesh.  I had one and boy it scared the crap out of me.  I had waited almost too long, it was on my navel and man.. I thought it was nothin’.  I go to the V.A. medical center E.R. and boy they whipped me right in there.. like IMMEDIATELY.

After that scary ass operation, when they put all those wires on me, then put me to sleep.. I can still remember them putting me on that skinny operating table.. I was wanting to just bolt out of there..”let’s think this over”..then looking at the surgeons and asking..”are you SURE..you have done this before?”.  Then you wake up praying to GOD that your bowels wills start working..praying for a little poot.  The doctors told me I could not lift 20lbs for 6 weeks and I told them that they were crazy ‘cos I gotta work..

“We’re all gonna live till we are 70 ‘cos American life is so good”..- YEAH RIGHT.  People around here croak off when they are 40.

Anyways.. be careful lifting and don’t try to be no iron man or hero, that is my survival advice.

Old Dave the Trucker across the hall, he’s had this operation twice, and he advised me, “man..do what they tell you and make sure you DON’T FUCK THAT thing up again!  The second time it is twice as bad.”

I don’t mean to be gross, but after that operation, every time I pass some gas I am so grateful.  If my bowels wouldn’t have started working I’d have had to do a colostomy.  I am not sure I would even want to live with that.

Matt Blunt is going to make it illegal to get a hernia.  He is mad because his farm animals are costing him money,  and we won’t be able to work on his governer mansion, while he pens his memoirs about how great he is.


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